


Jemma Simmons Needs A Hug

by Zastria



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, anxiety attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 16:52:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1435753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zastria/pseuds/Zastria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma Simmons hasn't had an anxiety attack in years. When it happens again it comes out of nowhere. Set post-Yes Men, pre-End of the Beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jemma Simmons Needs A Hug

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Contains a detailed description of an anxiety attack.

She's in the lab, working on improving the dendrotoxin for the I.C.E.R.s, whilst Fitz is across the room explaining to Coulson and May how he's developing a device like the grenades Cybertek used. Simmons' hands falter over the test tube as Fitz's words remind her of how far behind Cybertek's technology they were. A wave of dizziness sweeps over her and she grips the table to steady herself. It doesn't work. She can't breathe. She feels too hot and her heart's pounding and she's going to pass out. _Not here not here not here._ She tries to take a deep breath but her vision and hearing are going and she feels like she's going to throw up. _Get out get out get out._

  
Simmons stumbles from the lab, unnoticed by the other Agents who are still deep in conversation with their backs to her. Good. She doesn't want them to see her like this. She shoves open the door to the small cupboard where they keep spare pillows and sheets, pushing herself inside and pulling the door shut behind her. Collapsing in a heap on the floor Simmons burrows into the pile of pillows. They don't give any real protection, she knows that, but the illusion of safety they give is what she needs right now.

  
 _Breathe, Jemma,_ she tells herself. She takes deep, slow breaths to calm herself, counting the breaths to give herself the optimum amount of oxygen. Then she loses count and the panic rises up again. Shit! She can't breathe she's lost count she can't breathe she can't breathe who screws up breathing like this? _It's ok, Jemma_ , she imagines Fitz saying, _it's ok_. _You can do it._ She takes a slower breath and begins to count again.

  
Gradually her heart rate slows and some of the tension leaves her body. She knows what just happened was a natural reaction to an understandable fear. She knows why her body flooded with adrenaline and why the instinct to flee was there. What she doesn't know is why it had to happen then when it hasn't happened since she was a child. She has two PhDs, she shouldn't have panicked at briefly losing count of what should be a reflexive bodily function. She groans quietly in despair and buries her head in a pillow, unable to face going back to the rest of the team.  
  
“Jemma?” Simmons jumps in shock. Skye is standing in the doorway, looking concerned and confused. “Jemma, what happened? What's wrong?”

  
“Had an anxiety attack,” Jemma mumbles through the pillow, not looking at Skye.

  
“Oh, Jemma. Need a hug?” The sympathy in Skye's voice nearly overwhelms Jemma and she can only nod in response. Skye pulls the door closed behind her and squashes herself into the small space next to Jemma and pulls her into a hug. They stay like for a few minutes, Jemma breathing in the familiar comforting smell of the friend she's been through so much with as she clings to her. Finally she pulls away slightly.

  
“Thanks, Skye,” She manages a shaky smile.

  
“No problem, everyone needs a hug now and then. Want to talk about it?” She rests her hand gently on Jemma's arm. “No pressure, just I'm here if you want to.”

  
“I don't know what happened...I mean I know what happened, I just don't know why. I haven't had an anxiety attack since I was kid. I learnt how to control them. I could stop them but I haven't had to for years. That one...I didn't see it coming, Skye... how did I not see it coming?”

  
“Hey, it's ok. You weren't expecting it, that's all. We've been through a lot through the past months. It's natural to freak out a bit.”

  
“But I'm a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, I'm not supposed to freak out,” Jemma wraps her arms around her knees. “What if it happens again?”

  
“If it happens again, I'll help you through it. So will any of the team. We're here for you, Jemma, we've got your back any time you need us,” Skye smiles and wraps her arm round Jemma's shoulders again. “And yeah, you're a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent but you're human. You're allowed to have an anxiety attack, it doesn't make you any less of a kickass Agent. You saved my life, remember? You've saved all of our lives one way or another.”

  
“I'm glad I did,” Jemma smiles back, “This team's become like a family...I just wasn't expecting it to be quite like this when we joined...”

  
“You think I was? One day I'm living in my van and the next I'm living on a plane with a bunch of strangers saving the world!” Skye laughs. “We're up there with Iron Man and Captain America! And just so you know, Tony Stark has anxiety attacks and still saves the world. You're in good company.”

  
“Same league as Iron Man...that's not so bad,” Jemma muses, “I'd love to know how he got the arc reactor working in his body.”

  
“Maybe one day you'll get to ask him.”

  
“Maybe...”

  
“You're going to be ok, you know,” Skye reassures her, sensing that Jemma's still worrying about the anxiety attack.

  
“Am I? What if S.H.I.E.L.D. decide I'm not fit for the team?” Jemma's embarrassed to even voice the words but if anyone's a good person to say them to, it's Skye.

  
“They won't kick you out on the basis of one anxiety attack, Jemma, especially if they don't know about it. Worse case scenario, if it happens again, is that they'd just stop you going into the field. We aren't about to lose our favourite biochemist. Coulson'd fight that decision for as long as it takes and so would the rest of us. And you know Fitz wouldn't go anywhere without you.”

  
“Will you tell Coulson?”

  
“Not unless you want me to. It's your business, not mine,” Skye replies.

  
“I should probably tell him. I just hate the thought of him thinking I'm weak.”

  
“Coulson's the last person to think you're weak. He knows how strong you are and the lengths you'll go to protecting us.”

  
“He'll also yell at me for going to those lengths,” Jemma points out with a grin.

  
“You did scare us all jumping out the cargo hold, I'd have yelled to if I hadn't been so glad to see you safe again.”

  
“I prefer your way of showing you care,” Jemma says and they both laugh.

  
“Well since my way of showing Ward I care is by annoying him and I can smell bacon, how about we go bug him for a bacon sandwich?” Skye asks.

  
“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Jemma pushes herself to her feet and holds out a hand to help Skye. “Just be careful getting up, you're still healing.”

  
“Yes, Doctor Simmons,” Skye rolls her eyes but she's smiling as she takes Jemma's hand. Jemma carefully helps her up and then hugs her gently again.

  
“Thank you, Skye,” She whispers.

  
“Any time,” Skye replies, “Now, race to you the bacon!”


End file.
